Moving Forward
by HellbentHeather
Summary: After Craig leaves town, Ellie and Manny both try to move on with their lives, and they're good at it. But neither can really move forward and find what they're looking for. Mostly Ellie/Manny. Rated T only for slight language, just to be safe. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Moving Forward**

Manny Santos ambled aimlessly down the street, both hands tucked neatly inside her jean pockets. She's well aware that she is missing history class, but right now, she doesn't really care. Lately, Manny hasn't cared much about anything.

She can't help it. She still thinks about him. He's been gone for almost two months now, but Manny wants him gone from her every memory as well. She has trouble grasping the fact that this is the first time she does not want him back. She should, she thinks she should. Remembering how much she loves him, or used to love him, Manny feels as though if she does not want him that the world will crumble. That it's currently breaking and she's the last straw. The dark-haired girl can almost feel herself being pulled every direction but forward.

Sighing, Manny slowly removes a numb, tingling hand from her pocket and wipes at her eyes like she has been crying, even though she has not shed a single tear. A gust of wind blows her hair into her mouth, sticking to her lips. Getting ready each morning is the solitary action that hasn't changed since she broke off their relationship. Manny mostly goes through the motions for her parent, and for Emma. Emma would worry endlessly if Manny showed up at school looking less than perfect. She hated that, it was probably the only thing she hated about her best friend.

No, it wasn't. Manny couldn't stand that she was supposed to be over Craig, over everything he used to be to her. She loathed how Emma acted as though he was gone and it did not matter. After two weeks, Emma figured Manny should be over it. And that was that. Manny wasn't over him. She didn't want to date him anymore either; she didn't want him back. The brunette just wanted him to have loved her.

Apparently that was too much to ask for.

---

As Ellie lay back on her bed, Marco sprawled out beside her, watching Wheel of Fortune, she couldn't help but smile.

She was smiling a lot more recently. For reasons unknown, she felt happy, content. It wasn't the bliss Ellie thought being in love was supposed to bring. The redhead did not feel like bouncing up and down, laughing endlessly, or doing back flips and cartwheels around her room.

Then again, she did not feel like moping around either. That was good; she thought content was good enough.

Just because it was good didn't mean Ellie let all her doubts go without another thought. She loved Jesse, she really did. Ellie just was not positive that there was not something filled with more grandeur out in the world, or just a love that contained more bliss.

A moan could be heard coming from her best friend, "Elle, I'm starved!" Marco patted his stomach lightly before reaching over and tapping the girl's, "Oh look, so are you!"

Ellie rolls her eyes at the boy, lifting herself of the wrinkled sheets with a groan. She smoothed her hair down a little, "I'll go make some popcorn."

As she headed down the stairs, her head began to pound incessantly. Clutching at her red locks, Ellie continued down the steps, slowly this time. She felt like banging her head against the wall multiple times, it could not hurt anymore than it already did.

The girl swung open the cabinet, grabbing the Advil. These headaches began to invade her life around two months ago when he left. She couldn't have explained why they bombarded her back then. Ellie just figured it was something stupid, stress related, maybe. She had planned on the pounding leaving her forever within two weeks, but it didn't. Once or twice a day, it rushed back, making her feel ill.

Now, Ellie was convinced the headaches sprang from missing Craig. She really did miss him. The red-haired girl missed having someone who understood her musical tastes, someone who could talk to her about anything, someone who thought she was brilliant for just being her.

Yet, having him gone was good too. She stopped loving him, easing her heart and breaking it simultaneously. She was grateful for the opportunity to be free from his emotional grasp that enthralled her and suffocated her. Ellie really liked that she could be in a relationship with Jesse now without Craig's existence looming over them, looming over her. But most of all, Ellie was relieved. Relieved that she didn't have to hear him talk about Manny. Thoughts and words that always resulted in silent tears running down her pale face. She was privileged to hear about how great the dark-haired girl was, how extremely funny and talented she was, and how smart she was (Ellie had always scoffed at that last one, not believing it one bit). That was the best part about Craig being gone, hands down; losing her privilege.

She popped the medication into her mouth, gulping it down without water, feeling it struggle to make its way down her dry, irritated throat.

---

Luckily, Manny wandered back to Degrassi a couple of minutes before the final bell sounded. She wasn't in the mood to be victim to one of Emma's speeches. Pushing open the heavy glass door, she entered the building, walking casually to her locker as though she had not been gone the last two periods. Manny had learned that if you act as though nothing is out of the ordinary, people are likely to believe you and not ask questions.

Reaching her locker as the cacophonous bell rang, Manny sighed, efficiently opening her lock and grabbing some books. She figured it would be good to work on some homework tonight; maybe a study session with her best friend would do her some good. Manny hoped so, but she doubted it. Millions of study days or movie nights were not going to change the fact that she longed to feel a constant pain, to feel something. The brunette bit down lightly on her lip, flipping a lock of stray hair over her shoulder, grabbing the sugar cookie she hadn't gotten around to eating at lunch.

"Can I have a piece of that?" The blonde bounced next to Manny, breaking off a portion of the cookie.

"Hey Em," Manny breathed, plastering a smile to her face, instantly entering peppy, cheery mode, "do you want to study for the health test tonight? I have to pass it or else my parents will go ballistic." She groaned for effect, and just because it felt good.

"Sure. Can Sean come too?" Emma grabbed another chunk of the cookie, tilting her head to the side, examining her best friend. Lately, Manny had seemed a bit off, Emma just couldn't put a finger on it. Smiling, the blonde decided to ignore her intuition and let it go, she overanalyzed far too much.

Manny rolled her eyes a little, "why not." Quickly, she finished her cookie before the blonde could inhale the rest, and they began to walk outside.

Tension sprang up in Emma's body as she saw her boyfriend conversing casually with his ex and her own ex-boyfriend's mom. Manny tensed up too, the red-haired girl always made her feel nervous, idiotic and confused all at the same time.

The last time Manny had spoken to Ellie had been surprisingly civil. They hadn't argued with each other, or hostilely ignored one another either. The brunette was not naive enough to believe the apologies they shared made them friends. She knew that would never happen. But the ground they stood on was incredibly shaky, and interaction of any sort would be awkward.

Manny began to protest as Emma latched onto her forearm, dragging her towards Sean. "No, no, I'm not going over there."

"Yes you are because that's where Sean is."

"With Ellie and Principal Hatzilakos..." Manny attempted to free herself, slapping at Emma's hand.

The blonde sighed exasperatedly, "I can't face that crowd alone."

"Okay, fine, but you owe me." Manny gave in, crossing her arms over her chest. She could not fathom why her best friend was so worried; she acted as though Ellie was trying to steal Sean away from her or something crazy like that. Manny knew Ellie had a serious boyfriend and had gotten over Sean long ago (she had gone after Craig after all), the redhead had even been able to move forward. The brunette kind of envied that, her biggest desire was to not just move on, but to move ahead. She wanted to learn from her past relationship, figure out what had went wrong below the obvious surface issues. She wanted to embark on a fresh journey with new lessons.

"Hi," Emma chirped, taking her boyfriend's callused hand into her own. Sean's only reply was a kiss on the cheek and a smile.

"Hello Emma, Manny," Principal Hatzilakos nodded at the girls, smirking ever so slightly, "Bye Sean, thanks for dropping by Ellie." She left quickly; teen drama was something she dealt with enough during the day, and if it wasn't necessary for her to stay, she walked away.

"Hey Ellie," Emma looked at the girl kindly, leaning closer to Sean, causing both him and Manny to sigh a little. Sometimes they just did not understand the blonde.

"Hi." Ellie spoke confidently, replying to Emma but looking directly at Manny. Her eyes were closed off today, the smile she wore looked thin and fragile, as though it could evaporate or break at any given moment.

The dark-haired girl began to fidget, pulling on her fingers. Ellie's gaze was penetrating and awkward, like she was looking for an answer and was convinced she would find it somewhere within Manny. Manny knew she would not; she did not possess any answers to her own questions, let alone someone else's. Looking at the ground, Manny frowned; she never should have walked over here.

"I'm writing an article about seniors here and getting ready for college." Ellie broke her eyes away from Manny, explaining tacitly to Emma that she wasn't a threat, that she'd never take anything away from her.

"Yeah, I think it'll be really good." Sean offered up his two cents, looking curiously at Manny, he had never known her to be a girl of so few words, or no words in this case.

"Yeah, it's coming along well." Ellie could feel strain, the only ally she had was Sean, and he wasn't helping her out too much, "I, uh, have to go, bye." Ellie waved a little and walked away.

Finally, Manny looked up, greeted with perplexed looks. "What?" she feigned confusion herself, and it wasn't a complete lie, she was confused too.

---

"I'll go get more pretzels." Emma got up slowly, putting her pencil down. She brushed some fringe from her brown eyes, "Anyone want another drink?" If anything, she was a courteous host.

"I'm fine." Sean muttered and Manny agreed. If she had any more soda she would not be able to sleep that night due to a need to pee constantly.

The dark-haired girl looked down at her book, squinting, "I don't get this stuff."

Sean looked at her, anticipation evident on his visage. "You know what I don't get? You and Ellie today..."

Manny's head shot up and she just stared at him for a moment. Were they really that obvious? "I don't know what you're talking about."

He just stared at her, his face clearing saying that he didn't believe her.

Sighing, Manny ran her fingers though her hair and took a gulp of water, when she realized that ignoring him wouldn't work, she closed her eyes, breathing deeply, and trying to formulate the perfect answer. A response that would stop the questions and be comprehensible. Eventually, she opened her eyes and murmured, "It's just awkward, you know, after the whole Craig thing. We don't really know how to deal with each other, and the whole bitching back and forth thing is getting old."

He seemed to accept that well enough, thinking her expression fit what she had experienced with the boy who had hurt her. Plus, it was obvious that the brunette did not want to have to think about the situation.

"What are you two talking about?" Emma inquired, hands filled with a plastic bowl full of pretzel sticks.

"Health." Manny looked expectantly at Sean, begging him not to say anything to the bubbly blonde. Emma was happy lately, Manny didn't want to bring her down with her best friend troubles. Manny wanted Emma to enjoy life because she deserved it.

"Yep, Manny hates it." Sean shot her a look, informing her that he wouldn't say a word.

She smiles a little at him, relieved.

Soon, Emma and Sean began to act couple-y and Manny felt her face and arms itching. Her eyes began to hurt and she felt empty, depressed, but most of all, she felt nothing. Manny excused herself with some story about her Dad putting her on lockdown. For once in her life, she was happy he was so strict; watching her friends cuddle on the couch was not something she wanted to see. It just reminded her that she was alone, had no one to be jealous of her ex-boyfriends, nobody was going to hug her and kiss her and look at her with need and desire, she had no one to hold her and make her feel alive again.

As she made her way down the sidewalk, the wind began to pick up speed, making the brunette feel cold, she began to rub her arms quickly, trying to create some warmth on her skin.

When she turned the corner, Manny was faced with a snickering group of juniors. It was obvious that they were drunk by the alcohol bottles that were scattered around the grass. Plus, when they spoke, their words slurred together, and walking without a stumble proved to be challenging for them.

When a tall girl spotted the brunette, she covered her mouth and immediately began to giggle. Trudging on, Manny ignored her peers and sped up, not daring to look down at her shoes.

"Hey look! It's the whore!" The girl kept snickering as the rest of the group recognized Manny from last year's video.

She just keep walking, most people did not mention the infamous tape anymore, but occasionally someone would and it made Manny sick to her stomach.

"Don't ignore us. Just show us your boobs and we'll let you go." A big guy stepped out and blocked Manny's passage to freedom.

Quickly, she dodged to the right, attempting to worm her way past the drunken juniors, only to be stopped by two girls who were shorter than the others.

Her heart began to pound rapidly in her chest, thoughts streaming through her mind too quickly to really be comprehended. Manny thought she might be able to scream loud enough for someone to hear, but she worried the gang in front of her might charge. Her stomach began to churn and vomit made its way up her throat. She gulped it down and grimaced at the taste.

"Come on girlie, give it up, we know you're easy." The large guy ran a finger over the brunette's lip and she stumbled backwards, luckily she was able to keep her balance and not fall to the hard, cold cement.

Tears welled up in Manny's deep brown eyes as she willed them not to fall, but it would not make too much difference, the gang already knew she was scared. She briefly entertained the idea of running, but her heels would not allow it. Damn, why did I wear these today? she cursed herself silently. Leaning down to unbuckle them would not go well, and if she ran, Manny would be sure to trip, and even drunks could catch up with her. She gulped down a lump in her suddenly dry throat.

The group continued to snicker at her.

A car drove past, stopping abruptly as a familiar figure slammed the door shut, "What's going on?"

Ellie. Manny felt relieved and aggravated simultaneously. Why couldn't someone else save her? Sean, for example, he would have been better, but Manny figured at a time like this, complaining was not really warranted.

"You wanna join the party hottie?"

The redhead glared at the group of drunks, not backing down. "Stay away from her!" She shouted, approaching Manny and grabbing her by the arm.

"Oh yeah? How are you gonna stop us?"

There was no fear evident in Ellie as she spat menacingly at the gang, "because I have pictures of you that could easily be given to the cops."

The group fumbled for a moment, exchanging glances as Ellie pulled out a stack of Polaroids, waving them in the air. A self-satisfied smirk placed on her lips.

"Come on Manny," She lead the brunette to her car and stuck her head out the window, red curls billowing in front of her face. "Here you go!" She shrieked happily, releasing the pictures and pressing down the gas pedal.

Manny let her breathing return to a more normal rated and waited for her throat to stop feeling so dry before speaking, "Thanks Ellie."

The redhead turned her head, nodding a little, looking at the younger girl. "You okay?" Her voice was void of concern, neutral in every way.

"I'm fine."

Ellie returned her attention to the road and let out a sigh, "Where do you live?"

---

When Ellie pulled into Manny's driveway, she was surprised when the girl didn't exit as fast as her legs could carry her. "You're here." Ellie stated, slight annoyance gracing her voice.

"Why?"

"Huh?" The red-haired girl turned to find Manny looking intently at her; she could see small streaks of tears that had escaped the brunette's eyes.

"Why would you save me like that?"

With a slight eye roll and groan, Ellie whispered, "I'm not that much of a bitch, Manny."

The younger girl closed her eyelids for a minute before opening them again; it felt like it took far too much effort. "And the pictures?"

"For an article, I just think fast. They're drunks, they can't think fast."

"Oh," Manny's hand hovered over the handle on the car door for a moment before she placed it gently in her lap and continued, "I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Lots of things." A smile slipped onto the brunette's face, the first genuine one that she had worn in two months. Quickly, she excited the vehicle, aware of the red-haired girl's eyes on her, burning a hole into her back.

Safe. It made Manny feel safe to have Ellie waiting there to make sure she got inside okay. Was that change and forgiveness she felt after she got inside?


	2. Chapter 2

**Moving Forward**

**Chapter 2**

"Where were you?" Jesse's voice is filled with concern and worry as he quickly opens the door for his girlfriend.

The redhead just shrugs and offers up a small smile. The night has been too long already and she really isn't in the mood to explain. She silently removes her jacket and tosses it on a nearby chair.

"Are you okay?"

Ellie rolls her eyes, apparently being forty minutes late for a small gathering warrants an interrogation and a very nervous Jesse. "I'm fine, really, just had unexpected stuff to attend to."

"Oh, okay, that's good, frosh." A smile slips onto his lips and he leans down to place a soft, gentle kiss on Ellie's mouth, "mmm".

He leads her through the small dorm room to a circle of chairs occupied by a variety of newspaper writes she has never talked to and older students she has never seen before. Ellie knows this is going to be awkward and she is only going to feel more inadequate as the evening continues. She agreed to attend because Jesse asked her, and he did so very nicely, the offer was accompanied by chocolates. But honestly, the red-haired girl did not have lots of friends on campus, and she was perfectly content that way. She already had a trustworthy, safe group of people she loved and she did not have any desire for more. Having lots of friends was overrated anyway.

"Hey everyone," The brown-haired boy cleared his throat, smiling brightly, "this is Ellie."

She greeted the group and gave them a small smirk, they were nice enough, but she could tell that they were already looking her over, judging her. Ellie was well aware of the fact that many of Jesse's friends thought it was idiotic that he was dating a freshman and seemed so serious about it all. The group obviously thought she must be some sort of bimbo without half a brain and Ellie felt all the energy and resolve she had possessed earlier to change their pre-made-up minds drain out of her body.

As she sits down on a small coach, Jesse sits next to her, placing a hand lightly on her knee. Ellie tightens up, she wants to slap his hand away because she knows that the older students are looking at her and assuming she's some sort of slut, but Jesse is just trying to reassure her, tell her it's okay, that it doesn't matter what his friends think.

But it does matter; it means the world to her that they do like her.

Jesse begins discussing the newspaper and the upcoming issue. It only takes him a minute or two to notice that the girl sitting beside him hasn't said a word, "Ellie just picked up the pictures for the article about the fair, right?" He looks at her expectantly, wanting her to join in on the conversation.

"Um, yeah, they looked really good." She manages to speak, but it isn't very articulate and not at all deep. Ellie wants to smack herself, she knows she's smart, why can't she act like it?

A short blonde girl brightens up at the idea of the photos and chirps, "Can we see them?" She is pretty, really, really pretty and jealousy stabs Ellie in her ribs for a moment. Then she realizes it's juvenile and stupid to be jealous over this girl she does not even know.

"Yeah, let's see them." Jesse looks between Ellie and the blonde happily, like this gathering is making some progress.

"Um," The redhead begins to falter, she doesn't have those pictures anymore, and she knows they're gone and that she has no way of retrieving them. "I kind of don't have them."

The brunette boy sitting next to her wears a confused look on his face, squinting oddly at her, he removes his hand from her knee. And now Ellie would give anything to have him put it back again.

"What do you mean? I thought you picked them up from Charlie before you came here? Weren't we going to go through them later?" Jesse sounds anxious, likes he is dreading her answer.

Ellie gulps down the lump in her throat, which is suddenly dry. She can no longer look at her boyfriend and focuses on her lap instead, playing with her hands as she stutters, "I lost them."

"What!?" Jesse shoots up out of his spot, he's angry and looking at her with disappointment etched all over his features.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to." She knows her response is lame, but she cannot really answer any better than that right now. She hears the other guests snickering and she is positive that they think she's an idiot, and they have judged her as such forever. There is no longer anything she can do to change that. And she cares, and she is indifferent about it all at the same time.

"We can't get those back Ellie!" When she finally looks up, his face is red and he is glaring at her.

"It's not my fault Charlie took them with Polaroids! I mean who does that?"

"Don't blame him; you're the one who lost them!"

Ellie takes a deep breath, her voice does not waver and when she speaks, she talks slowly, calmly, "I have my reasons, I'll tell you later okay. Now just sit down already."

"Why don't you tell me now?"

"Jesse! It's not everybody's business."

Jesse runs a hand through his hair and sighs, shaking his head at Ellie, "It's about the newspaper, and it doesn't matter. Just tell me already."

With total resolve, Ellie lifts herself off the couch and frowns at her boyfriend, "You know what? I'm going to go now. I'll call you tomorrow when you've calmed down and don't just assume you know everything." She walks away quickly, aware of the snickering of the other students, but she ignores them. They don't know anything about her, and they never will.

---

When Manny gets to school the next morning, she's more than shocked to see Ellie standing outside the doors. She's even more shaken when the red-haired girl waves at her and joins her during her short walk inside.

"So, Manny, you know about the article I'm doing right?" Ellie walks along, unsure of what the younger girl's reaction will be like and how she'll act after the night before. "Seniors, college worries, etcetera."

"Oh, yeah, I remember." The brunette is not really sure how to act around Ellie, but the redhead just seems to be ignoring all their history, and Manny thinks that maybe it is best that way.

"Right, so I was thinking, I need another interview...would you be interested?"

Manny hesitates for a second as she stops walking to look at Ellie. She studies the older girl's face, noting the hope and uneasiness that she's trying to hide (and she is doing quite a great job of it). "Sure." Manny smiles slightly.

"So, is now good? Because I really don't feel like coming back here later." Ellie brushes some hair from her face and tilts her head a little, examining the dark-haired girl. She thinks that Manny looks alright, not too shaken up from last night, which is good. The redhead is glad she is okay. She does look a bit nervous though, and Ellie knows it is because she's there.

"Fine." Manny nods and follows Ellie over to a picnic table outside of the school. The two girls sit down across from one another and Manny waits as Ellie takes out a pad of paper and tape recorder.

"Okay, so what's the thing you think you'll miss most about high school when you're in college?"

"Um, I don't know. Maybe the school itself. I mean, I know it really well, what to expect in class and I have friends and people here. Just knowing what to expect every day, I guess." The brunette fell over her words, nervous, feeling stupid, like she did not even know her own thoughts. Ellie always did this to her. Made her feel like a moron, even if the other girl did not mean it. Sometimes Manny was better at hiding it than at other times. But if she was keeping the bitch to a minimum, hiding her insecurities proved to be much more difficult.

"Right…So, what's your biggest worry about college?" Ellie looks down at her notepad, frowning. The questions are so ordinary and boring, she knows she should ask other ones, but she can't. Because she is talking to Manny, and the situation is awkward enough as it is.

"People misjudging me, or judging me from what they've heard from other people, people who don't really know me. People who think they do, but really have no clue." That was an easy question for the younger girl to answer, and as she speaks she looks directly in to Ellie's brown eyes.

For a moment, they seem to have an understanding, more understanding than they've ever had. Manny knows that Ellie is sorry for making her feel terrible, for being a bitch, and not just because of Craig. But because of everything. And Ellie knows what it feels to be judged unfairly, made to feel stupid. She is told through Manny's eyes, her expression, that what Manny said the other night is true and genuine.

Suddenly, Ellie's phone rings, she digs through her purse and looks at the caller ID. "I have to take this." The red-haired girl gets up and opens her phone, walking away from Manny quickly.

"Hey."

"Elle, I'm sorry for being so stupid yesterday, I got your message." Jesse's voice fills her ears and she runs her fingers through her red locks, sighing as she listens to his apology. When he finally finishes, Ellie just wants to be finished with this conversation, she thinks she shouldn't have to be hearing a lame excuse for going ballistic on her in front of all those people. But she does. And she accepts his apology, says she'll talk to him later and hangs up.

"Was that your man candy?" Manny offers up a small smile as Ellie sits back down on the wooden bench.

"Jesse? Yeah, he was just saying how sorry he was for doing something stupid." She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at how boys can be so lame sometimes.

"I hate when guys are lame." The dark-haired girl echoes Ellie's thoughts exactly, and it sends a little shiver down the redhead's spine. But it feels comfortable; talking to Manny is easier than she expected it would be.

"Yep," She smiles back at the younger girl, "He had some sort of mental breakdown yesterday at me in front of his friends. He didn't even give me a chance to explain anything."

"That's because they always think they're right and that we're cuckoo bananas." Manny retorts biting her lower lip to suppress a giggle.

Ellie releases a little laugher and nods in agreement. "I know, they just assume things, it can be so annoying."

"And yet, we just let them." Manny rests her chin in her hand, her elbow resting on the picnic table.

"Manny?" Emma comes up and sits beside her best friend, looking questioningly between the brunette and redhead. She cannot understand what's going on in the world, for a second she thinks that maybe hell froze over the night before.

"Oh, hey, Em. I was just giving an interview." Manny hugs the blonde girl loosely and smiles at her brightly.

"I'll go now; maybe we can finish later Manny?" Ellie gives off a smile, hope filling her eyes, and for some unknown reason, she wants Manny to agree. And the red-haired girl is thinking that maybe she could be friends with Manny Santos. It's strange and weird, and she does not know how she can explain this to anybody. But the idea makes her feel joyful.

"Sure, you can call me, Sean has my number." Manny waves a little as Ellie nods, walking away with a little more bounce in her step than was there earlier.

Emma takes a deep breath, skepticism filling her face as she turns her body slightly to face her best friend. "It sort of seemed like you and Ellie were friends." She chuckles a little, because she is well aware of how much of a bitch Manny believes Ellie to be, and that they have so much drama between them involving Craig.

"It sort of did, didn't it?" Manny cannot stop smirking, she does not know why, but she feels alive again. She feels really, genuinely happy. "So, what happened last night after I left? You and the boyfriend looked quite cozy."

"Must you know everything?" Emma grins back, her voice cracking a little bit.

"Uh, yeah. I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world. It's what I do, know everything."

---

While Sean, Emma, and Manny have lunch together, Sean is chatted to incessantly by his girlfriend over the Manny and Ellie interview. He is now thoroughly confused over the two girls' situation and where they stand. He knows the only way to wrestle any type of answer out of either one is to have someone else with him who is equally as curious. Emma fits the profile perfectly.

"So, Manny." He begins, slowly, nudging Emma lightly with his elbow.

"So, Sean." The dark-haired girl replies in a deep voice, trying to sound more like him.

"You and Ellie weren't bitching at each other or ignoring each other this morning?" He asks her, walking around the bush just isn't his thing.

Manny sighs out of annoyance. Getting interrogated over something she still hasn't been able to figure out, not even in media class where they had a sub and did nothing, is nowhere near her idea of good lunch discussion. "I don't know. It was an interview for her paper. You're the one who thinks she's some sort of writing genius."

Emma snickers a little before speaking up, "Come on, I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world. It's what I do, know everything."

"God Em, why are you stealing my lines?" Manny takes a huge bite out of her sandwich, wiping some mayo from the side of her mouth. She loves her best friend, she really does, but sometimes the blonde girl is just too much work.

"We just want to know. It's so weird."

"You're telling me." Manny shakes her head slightly. "Darcy, wait up!" She knows it's obvious that she's leaving to avoid further questions, and that the happy couple is aware of that, but she knows that Emma won't be satisfied easily. Especially when it comes to the subject of Ellie.

---

"Manny, come on! Just tell me what's going on." Emma begs her best friend after school, pleading to be the dark-haired girl's confidant. She sticks her bottom lip out as best as possible, pouting. They have always been able to share their secrets with one another, and Emma sees no reason to stop the tradition so suddenly.

Grunting and picking at the nail polish covering her thumb, Manny shoots the blonde a look, clearly telling her to let it go.

"Please? I'll buy you ice cream." Her attempts seem to be wearing Manny down, and Emma smiles to herself, she's making some progress. But that doesn't mean she is not worried. She's not fighting with her best friend, they seem to be getting along well lately, but Manny has never acted so closed off before. She has no idea what to make of the dark-haired girl's strange behavior.

"Fine," Manny sighs out, brushing her bangs to the side of her forehead, "but you owe me that ice cream later."

"Done." A smirk slips onto Emma's lips, satisfied with herself; she takes a sip of coke and watches Manny intently.

"I really don't know how to explain it."

"Try."

Manny feels warn out and tired, she really does not have enough strength left to make her thoughts and emotions comprehensible. But she would have to make an effort or else be subjected to more begging and constant questioning. "Well, we've apologized for all the drama, which helps us not bitch back and forth."

Emma nods in understanding, "That's good, I don't like when you're bitchy, and it's not fun for the person who has to feel your wrath. Believe me."

"Yeah. And when she asked me to be interviewed for the article this morning, I agreed because I'm a nice person, but I thought it would be awkward."

"Of course, considering everything." Emma recognizes where her friend is coming from, and it eases some of her concern.

Manny runs her hand through her hair, taking a deep breath as she begins to recount what happened to her the previous night. It's painful and it brings salty tears to her eyes. But Emma's there, and she moves over to the brunette, hugging her and listening intently. Just like a best friend should do.

"I'm so sorry, Manny. I'm so sorry." Emma repeats the phrase over and over, holding the dark-haired girl.

"I know, I'm fine." Manny wipes at the tears and smiles a little for emphasis.

Emma rubs her best friend's arm once more before releasing her, she understands completely. Manny's newfound kindness with Ellie seems more realistic now, and why the hostility has halted altogether makes more sense too.

---

Slurping down some soda while they chat, Ellie is pleasantly surprised at how well the second part of Manny's interview went. Both girls weren't as tense as they were earlier and the conversation flowed along. Sure, the redhead did not feel comfortable digging too deeply into the brunette's thoughts, so she stayed relatively on the surface. Asking the expected questions and following up on a few of them, Ellie felt that she had gotten some good material and incite, plus, maybe a usable quote or two.

After the interview, talk immediately ensued, and it was convincingly close to friendly conversation. The two girls traded antidotes and stories about bad dates, embarrassing moments and random experiences at Degrassi. It was relaxing and fun. Still a bit odd, but fun.

"Paige can be a real bitch sometimes, can't she?" Manny shook her head, sticking one of the last greasy fries into her mouth.

"Most definitely. Sometimes I think she thrives on turning people against one another. You and Emma, for example. And I'm sure she's pulled something similar on others. Personally, I'm convinced she's trying to get Marco and Dylan to hate me." Ellie laughs a little at the face Manny makes in response.

"I don't think anything Paige tries could stop you and Marco from being friends." The dark-haired girl scoffs. She has nothing against Paige…not really. Sure, the girl has been a royal bitch at times, but everything she had ever done to Manny left no lasting scars. If anything, it made her a stronger person.

The red-haired girl nods in agreement, "I think we've been through so much and know so much about each other that nothing could really break us apart, at least not permanently."

Manny haphazardly bangs her elbow on the table and lets out a small yelp. She clutches her elbow, rubbing it to help the slight pain, "I'm such a klutz sometimes."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." And the dark-haired girl means that, and not just about her elbow. She likes talking to Ellie. She thinks it may be because the girl sitting across from her is the only other person who could really know how she feels concerning Craig. Nobody else, not even Emma, could understand the way her former boyfriend affected her. How he left her feeling fragile and stupid. Manny has a tiny glimmer of hope that the redhead might know. They aren't comfortable enough with one another to discuss him, or even mention him. But just silently knowing they had experienced similar emotions with the boy helped. It helped both girls more than they could say.


	3. Chapter 3

**Moving Forward**

**Chapter 3**

Running her finger over the black printed letters, Manny squeals with delight as she reads the article. She brushes her dark bangs to the side of her forehead, a smile spreading wider and wider on her lips, "You quoted me!"

Ellie is situated across from the ecstatic girl at The Dot, she just smirks slightly and takes a sip of her soda. The two girls have met two times in the last three weeks just to talk and share a plate of cheesy fries. Being friends with one another seems natural and they both have halted their inhibitions, and erased their previous judgments about each other. The transition has been easier than either girl had thought it would be.

"It was no big deal, journalists quote people all the time." The older girl chuckles a bit, amused by the energy and joy radiating from Manny.

"But they don't quote me all the time."

Giggling, the redhead pops a fry into her mouth, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. She feels truly happy, more so than she has in a long time. Ellie has been laughing more than she could ever remember lately too, which she thinks must be a good thing.

---

As she walks through the hallway full of mingling students with her best friend, the brunette tucks her arm neatly around Emma's elbow.

"You seem happy." The blond looks questioningly at her friend, waiting for a sufficient response. The last person to place a grin on Manny's face that was this blinding had crushed her; did crack and left. Needless to say, Emma is worried who the new boy currently occupying Manny's thoughts is.

"I am." The dark-haired girl states matter-of-factly as the two turn the corner. She's practically jumping out of her skin; spirit squad cannot come soon enough. Manny knows she needs some outlet to place all her energy in. And she is sure she would do something stupid without cheerleading.

Emma lets herself be pulled along and smiles at her friend. She's happy Manny's happy, but if this keeps up, she won't have an arm much longer.

"I just love spending time with Ellie. It's weird that two months ago I wanted to beat her to a pulp and now I just like talking with her."

"Oh, so this is because of her?" Emma quirks her eyebrow a little and takes her arm back, rubbing the inside of her elbow a bit. Amusement is evident on the girl's face.

Abruptly, Manny stops at Emma's locker, turning gracefully and placing her hands on her hips, "you're not jealous, are you?"

"No, of course not."

"Good."

The blonde opens her locker, grabbing a book and a folder before softly shutting the metal door. Shooting her best friend a knowing look, Emma rolls her eyes. If she didn't know any better, she would think the dark-haired girl had an ego. But Emma is sure that she does not.

"So," Manny glances quickly at the ground before looking Emma in the eyes as they resume walking; hope floods her visage as she asks, "you want to hang out at Ellie's tonight?"

Emma grabs the brunette's elbow suddenly, jerking her and making her loose her balance for a second.

"What?" Innocence flashes through Manny's dark brown eyes as her best friend attempts to stare her down. She is well aware of what Emma is going to tell her, and she's really hoping that she can avoid a speech.

"Uh, you need to study for the big history test tomorrow, Manny."

"Please?"

"We can't. No, wait, you can't."

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"Nope."

"Please Emma?" Manny pouts and begs with her eyes. She really wants to go, but she isn't sure that she possesses enough strength to face Ellie and all of the people that would take the redhead's side over hers, if they had to choose. Sean is a toss up though, and Manny thinks he would pick her, if only because she will have less people. The dark-haired girl needs her best friend's support and she is willing to do almost anything to get Emma to agree to go.

With a sigh of exasperation and annoyance, Emma states, "Fine, but we're leaving early."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The brunette wraps her arms around the blonde in a tight embrace.

---

The group sits around the wooden table eating salty popcorn and occasionally watching the movie, which mostly served as background noise.

"So, Manny, any new guys in your life?" Marco smirks at the girl. He has already gone over the road to Emma and Sean's blissful reunion; it only seems natural that he inquires about the brunette's love life next. However, he knows it was a mistake almost instantly.

Manny's look of contentment leaves her face and she begins to fidget with her fingers. "Uh, no, not really." She manages to choke out a lame response before excusing herself and practically sprinting out of the room.

"I thought gay guys were supposed to be sensitive." Ellie raises her eyebrows, smacking her best friend in the arm before pushing herself off the couch and following after Manny.

"Funny how last time Craig chased after Manny was because of Ellie, isn't it?" Dylan shakes his head a little, putting his arm around his boyfriend in comfort.

Emma tries to get up, but is held down by Sean. She turns her head to look at him, "Don't you think I should go help?"

"I think Ellie can handle her."

---

Knocking softly on the wall, Ellie steps hesitantly into the room, watching the disheveled girl who is sitting in an oversized armchair. Manny isn't crying, which surprises the redhead. The younger girl looks lost, confused, and sad. Manny runs a hand through her perfectly straightened hair and rubs at her dry eyes. Ellie cannot help but think Manny seems lonely.

The red-haired girl whispers quietly, "Hi."

Manny slowly brings her eyes to the soulful, anxious brown ones staring at her. The brunette does not like being seen so vulnerable. Every day she tries desperately to be strong, confident, happy; sometimes it is difficult to be happy all of the time.

"Are you okay?"

Breathing out, Manny responds honestly, keeping her eyes locked with Ellie's, "I don't know." She gulps down nervously.

"That's okay," Ellie smiles a little and moves closer to the younger girl. "Sometimes it's okay to be unsure."

"How would you know? You're always so confident and happy."

The red-haired girl chuckles a little cynically at that statement. The world has dealt her more than what she deserves in the heartache department. Life is never simple or easy, she was forced to learn that the hard way.

"Manny," Ellie sits herself down next to the brunette, not daring to look away, "My life isn't perfect. Far from it. This is going to sound corny and cliché, but you'll get through whatever it is that you're feeling and having trouble with, and it will only make you stronger."

A smile appears on Manny's lips, it's miniature, but genuine. "I heard you used to cut yourself."

The older girl falters at the openness of the acknowledgment and the care that fills Manny's voice. "I did, but I stopped. A long time ago."

The dark-haired girl nods and scratches at her face again, "I'm glad you stopped."

"Me too."

Both girls look at one another for a while, letting the moment sink in, trying to embed every emotion and look into their memories.

Finally, Ellie stands up and reaches a hand out, grinning. "Lets get back in there."

"Okay." Manny takes the redhead's hand and lifts herself off the chair.

They begin to walk back, but Manny stops them and offers the older girl a hug, smelling the fruity scent of Ellie's shampoo, breathing deeply. "Okay, I'm ready." She smiles at the red-haired girl. This friendship is going to be good for her, Manny can feel it.

---

The warm water cascades over Ellie's pale arms, filling the sink with water as Marco places dishes into it. She agreed to wash after all the guests had left. Her best friend would dry, if he could keep from taking over her position. They had not had a chance to talk in a while due to Marco's crazy study schedule over the last few weeks, and the redhead misses him.

"Now remember, if you can't get a sticky spot off, let the disk soak for a while, don't just scrub harder." The boy reminds Ellie matter-of-factly, grabbing a clean dish towel.

She groans a little, "I know Marco; I'm not going to break another plate."

"Good, because you'd have to pay to replace it." He smiles, turning off the faucet, "So, what's the deal with you and Manny?"

Ellie shrugs, dunking a plate into the soapy water, "We're friends, I guess."

Marco scoffs a little, "Friends? Puh-lease Eleanor. When you two came back from calming her down, and I'm sorry about that by the way, you kept shooting her the googley eyes."

"What!?" The dish bangs against the bottom of the sink and Ellie cringes, reaching down and bringing it out of the suds, "It's fine, don't worry."

"Good." Taking the plate from his best friend, the dark-haired boy grabs the plate, rinses it and begins to dry the dish, "Now, about Manny, don't you try to change the subject, tell me about this."

"Marco, we're just friends, I'm not gay."

Shaking his head in response he puts the plate in the cabinet and waits for Ellie to add more to her rebuttal.

"I don't like girls, and if I haven't yet, I don't think that it's going to happen. Plus, I'm with Jesse, so…"

"So what?" Marco sighs, "So you don't like girls, it doesn't mean you can't like this one girl."

"Can we just drop the subject for now? I'm too tired to argue with you." Ellie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, she really feels exhausted. College is hard, harder than she had imagined it would be.

"Fine. For now."

"Thank you." The redhead opens her eyelids and focuses her attention on the pot currently submerged in the water.

Opening a cabinet, Marco pulls out the bottle of Advil, taking the last pill with a chug of iced tea. "Do you need me to get more Advil for you tonight? Just in case?"

Ellie shakes her head no, red hair hitting her face, "Tomorrow's fine, I haven't had a headache for a couple of weeks."

"Really?" The boy cannot hide his surprise. He raises his eyebrows and smiles at the girl. He hated seeing her in so much pain.

"Weird, I know." The red-haired girl smirks at this, having the pounding pain suddenly disappear is a blessing.

---

"So, do you think we should talk about him?" Ellie looks down at her plate, she is unbelievably anxious. So many things depend on how this conversation plays out, and she needs it to go well. If there was an option to never face the subject of Craig, she would choose it in an instant. To the redhead's dismay, that isn't a choice.

Manny twirls a strand of hair around her finger, knowing they should discuss him now. It was as good a time as any, and the longer they waited the harder it would get. But the subject made her nervous and immensely uncomfortable. And the brunette was positive the older girl felt the same way about it. "Sure." She croaks out.

"Okay, so…"

"So…" The younger girl did not want to begin, but as she looks at the top of Ellie's head, she realizes that she has to. Especially since the red-haired girl has yet to stop drilling a hole into her own lap with her stare. "I loved him, I don't anymore though." She offers up the painful truth and pulls lightly on her pinkie.

Ellie struggles to find her voice, and when she does it comes out soft, a whisper, "I loved him too." Eventually, the girl looks up and locks eyes with the brunette. She notices that there is no emotion swimming in the deep brown pools. Worry springs up in the older girl's body and she subconsciously tenses up, leaning as far back in the booth as possible.

"You loved him?"

"Uh, um, yeah." Her words seem to be held in the air, floating around both girls, making the discussion more uncomfortable than Ellie imagined it would be. "But I don't anymore."

"But you did."

Silence.

"I can't believe this." Manny's voice is hallow and she feels her chest contracting. "I knew you...but I didn't think…"

"Oh." Ellie can no longer look at the dark-haired girl and replaces her eyes on her lap. "I'm sorry."

"I can't be here right now. I can't, I can't be friends with you, not now." Manny grabs her jacket and leaves The Dot as quickly as possible. She realizes it is stupid and that she should have known anyway. She should not be reacting this way, but she can't help how she feels. It hurts. And the brunette figures the saying is correct; ignorance is bliss.


	4. Chapter 4

**Moving Forward**

**Chapter 4**

Manny digs her spoon into the creamy chocolate frosting, scooping the sugary substance onto the silver crevice of her utensil. She brings the frosting to her mouth, inhaling it and immediately chugging some milk. She grabs the remote and begins flipping through the channels, not paying attention to all the different programs she is passing by. Settling on some soap opera she has never watched before, the dark-haired girl goes for another spoonful of frosting.

"Manny, I'm not going to sit here watching this and watching you stuff yourself with sugar." Emma gestures towards the television set and then towards the plastic cylinder situated in her best friend's left hand.

For the past week, the blonde has put up with Manny's wallowing, but now she thinks it's getting ridiculous. There is only so much ice cream, overdramatic shows and sitting beside a girl who has not showered in days that Emma can take. And after all, this is about Craig and Ellie, and the brunette should be over it by now; the initial wallowing took place months ago. Another round is fine by Emma, but she is not okay with it lasting this long.

"You can go then." Manny states, her voice soft and low. She wraps herself up in a blanket, quickly glancing at Emma to see if she is leaving or not.

"I'm not just going to leave you like this. You need help." The blonde nods her head resolutely, getting off the couch and turning off the TV.

"Hey, I was watching that!"

Sighing, Emma places her hands on her hips, snatching the remote before Manny can, "Not as much as you were watching that container."

Blinking at her best friend, the brunette doesn't say a word. She is slightly annoyed by the blonde's attempts to stop her from wallowing any longer, but she is far too exhausted to take any defensive action. She hasn't slept more than three hours a night all week and the dark circles under her eyes are solid proof.

"How about you take a shower and then we can go out and get some healthier food for you?" Emma tilts her head a little, studying the bundle of sadness sitting in front of her.

"Can't." Manny devours another helping of chocolate frosting and rests her eyelids for a moment, they're feeling heavy and keeping them open is too much work.

"Yes, you can and you will."

"No, she could be there."

The blonde snatches the half-eaten container of frosting and stares sympathetically at her best friend. She hates seeing Manny like this, and normally the dark-haired girl would pick up the pieces by now. "Could you at least shower honey?"

"Do I get the frosting back when I get out?" The brunette runs a hand through her knotted, greasy hair, pulling through the tangles and feeling slightly disgusted.

"Sure." Emma sighs, a small victory in a very large battle, but at least she is getting somewhere.

---

"Elle, there is no way I'm watching the sixth season of Gilmore Girls again." Marco gently pats the girl's calf and looks at her wearily.

"But it's so sad. Lorelei and Rory were best friends." The redhead rubs her head and stretches a little. She has been lying on the couch all week, crying occasionally, and watching the same episodes over and over again.

"But you don't even like this show." The dark-haired boy whispers softly to his best friend. He's worried about her; she is not acting even remotely like herself. Ellie has also taken an Advil every chance she gets, but she vows the pounding is still present. Marco does not know what to do to make her feel better.

"I was crazy." Ellie presses play on the DVD player Marco and her bought together and pulls her blanket up higher. She never feels comfortable anymore, it's either too hot or too cold and the flannel of the blanket is itchy against her skin. Yawning, she looks at the screen, enthralled with the fake drama.

"Can we talk about it instead?"

"Why would we talk about it if we can just watch it?" The red-haired girl turns her head and gives her best friend a puzzled look. It's times like these that she figures he should try focusing more time on himself and less worrying about her current state.

Marco sighs slightly, "Not about the show, about Manny."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"How about why she has you spread out over our couch crying over a show you hate?"

Ellie just ignores his response, focusing on the images flashing in front of her on the screen. Part of the redhead wishes that she would just get up, put on nicer clothes and go out; but the other part, the bigger, sadder part, wants her to use the return of her headaches as an excuse to lie on the couch desolately. The latter is winning. The red-haired girl is very aware that she is growing angry with herself for being weak and crashing like this. After working so diligently to be strong and not let herself break, she's shattering harder and into more pieces than she ever has. Ellie knows she's being stupid, but some part of her realizes she was stupid all along to think that she could be friends with Manny Santos.

"Fine," Marco groans, "But we're going to watch another season if you insist on this show."

"I like this one." Ellie expresses her opinion in a monotone way, her voice void of any emotion.

"But it's the worst one!" The dark-haired boy sighs and gets off the couch, leaving his best friend in her dismal state of misery.

---

Hearing the doorbell ring that annoying high-pitched song, Ellie moans and slowly stands up, pushing herself off the couch. She feels a little wobbly on her feet, so she stretches some, one hand on the arm of the piece of furniture. When the person outside grows impatient and rings the bell again, Ellie clutches the back of her head. The girl wants to scream and tell whoever it is to stop and just go the hell away. But, to her own dismay, she's much too kind to do that.

When the red-haired girl reaches the front door, she grabs the knob, relishing the cold feel of the medal for a second, and takes a deep breath. Closing her eyes briefly, she tries to mentally prepare for whoever is outside. Finally, when the sound of yet another push of the doorbell hits Ellie's ears, she flings open the door, surprised to see Ashley standing in front of her.

"Well it took you long enough." The brunette marches into the house and looks the redhead over, shaking her head disappointingly at her friend. She waits for some snarky remark from Ellie, but when the red-haired girl just rubs at her tired eyes, Ashley goes to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Ellie decides to follow her friend, this way in twenty minutes when she can safely take another Advil she's already in the kitchen.

Taking a small sip of her ice water, Ashley leans on the counter and stares at Ellie. "What's wrong? I haven't heard from you in forever."

"Nothing, I just have a headache."

Ashley nods disbelievingly. She knows slightly what happened with Manny and she hates the girl even more for how she has affected Ellie. "Please explain the Manny ordeal to me. I can help if you do."

As the red-haired girl begins to shake her head no, Ashley shakes her head yes. Resting her head on the counter, Ellie sighs loudly, knowing the brunette will not stop unless she has some details.

"Come on Ellie, we tell each other everything."

"We were getting along," Ellie begins, murmuring, her forehead still pressed against the countertop, "She seemed to get me, really understand without even saying a word. It was nice, not to have to explain everything for once."

Ashley listens intently, drinking her water. She's trying her best not to grimace at her friend's kind words about Manny Santos. Thinking that she is very lucky that Ellie is not looking at her right now, Ashley just nods along silently.

"And then we had to talk about him." She paused for a second, remembering the blank look on Manny's face. Tears begin to well up in the back of her eyes and Ellie tries to push them back, stopping them from falling. She knows that Ashley's reaction won't be good if she cries. "I was honest with her and it was stupid since I don't love him anymore. It's my fault."

The brunette can't help herself anymore, she chokes a bit on her water, coughing. "It's not your fault. You were just telling the truth. If anything it's Manny's fault. She overreacted."

Taking her head off the counter, Ellie looks at Ashley in utter disbelief, shaking her head a little, but not too much due to the pounding the action induces. "She can't help how she feels."

"Since when do you care how that slut feels? She never should have had him anyway."

"She's not a slut Ashley. Manny's just made some mistakes, we all do."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Sarcasm drips from the brunette's lips, "She just slept with Craig while I was his girlfriend."

"And knowing how that made you feel you started seeing Alistair while with Craig. A little hypocritical don't you think?"

"I can't believe you're defending her!"

Both girls are yelling now, their breathing labored. They glare at each other, each being too stubborn to back down.

Ellie breaks the staring contest, marching for the door, "Get out, you don't you even know her." The redhead opens the door and watches bitterly as Ashley leaves in a huff. Slamming the door shut, Ellie looks at the clock and ambles into the kitchen for another pill.

---

"Hey Manny." Sean enters into her dark living room, offering a small wave and sitting down next to her.

She doesn't take her eyes off the television as she reaches over and lightly slaps the boy's arm.

"What was that for?"

"Emma put you up to this didn't she?" Manny brushes some fringe from her eyes as she looks suspiciously at the boy sitting beside her. The dark-haired girl is in no mood to be tricked into her discussion about Ellie by the redhead's ex-boyfriend.

"Okay, fine. You caught me. But if she asks, I was helpful."

"Fine." The brunette pops a piece of popcorn into her mouth and sighs, "Tell her that I'm good and not to worry, she really doesn't have to."

"But you know she will anyway."

Manny does not reply, and they watch a new soap opera in silence for a couple of minutes. It feels comfortable and she is pleasantly surprised that Sean is not still attempting to get her out of the house. "I miss her you know. I miss getting to see her smile and hearing her laugh. They were contagious." The younger girl whispers during a commercial, her eyes never leaving the flashing screen.

Taken aback by Manny's sudden confession, Sean falters for a moment before trying to keep the conversation going. He never thought that if the dark-haired girl was going to open up, it would be to him. "Yeah you get used to her."

"Ellie just had a nice quality, I can't really explain it."

"Her personality makes you feel like you want to be a better person, yet, like you're good enough already." A smile slips onto the boy's lips as he speaks.

"Yeah. I wish I could still be friends with her."

"You can."

Manny chuckles a little at the simplicity of his statement. If everything is that easy she is sure that life wouldn't be as rewarding. But this is one situation she really wants to be simple, but it's not. Maybe she's crazy, but she had grown to trust the redhead in the past weeks and she never thought that Ellie would hurt her. But it hurt to know that the older girl loved Craig when she did. And that shocked Manny; she didn't want Ellie to have ever loved Craig, or anyone else for that matter. And she could not figure out why.

---

She just looks curiously at him, studying his face, trying to figure out if he has any alternative motives. Finally, deciding that Sean is just trying to make her feel better and become more like herself again, Ellie nods in agreement. "Okay, I'll go to The Dot. Just let me change first." She makes a disgusted face as she looks down at her stained sweats.

Sean grins happily as he watches the redhead amble up the stairs to get dressed. Emma and Marco are both going to be very pleased with the progress he has made with both girls.

A few minutes later, the red-haired girl walks steadily into the kitchen, she is not smiling, but she doesn't look miserable either. Opening the cabinet she takes the bottle of Advil and drops it into her purse.

"You have a headache?"

Ellie frowns a little, "Yeah, It doesn't ever completely go away anymore, but it is worse without the pills, so…"

"I see, I just thought they had gone away for a couple weeks?" Sean is curious about the red-haired girl's health and he thinks it might have something to do with Manny, even though the idea sounds insane in his head.

"They came back about a week ago." Ellie shrugs, resting her elbow on the counter.

"Like when you and Manny stopped talking?" The light-haired boy raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

Ellie takes a moment to comprehend the idea, closing her eyes, trying to remember if what Sean is suggesting makes sense. "Uh, yeah, yeah."

"Okay then. Let's go." Sean begins to head out the door, but he looks back when he realizes that Ellie isn't following.

She's leaning against the counter, a look of awe on her face and she is lightly rubbing her forehead. The red-haired girl is having a very difficult time accepting that instead of the pounding being caused by Craig or just random things, it's now Manny. And even though it adds up, she really, really hopes that it is just some freaky coincidence.

---

Looking understandingly at the dark-haired girl, a sympathetic smile graces Darcy's lips. She shakes her head a little and pats her friend's knee. When Manny finishes her tale, Darcy bounces a tiny bit on the couch, pulling lightly on the brunette's wrist. "Let's go out!"

Manny scrunches up her nose and eyebrows, snapping her wrist away. "I'm gonna kill her."

Putting a fake frown on her face, the auburn-haired girl tilts her head to the side, speaking gently, "You can kill her at The Dot. Everyone misses you. This way it's win-win."

The brunette is not convinced; she glares off into the direction of her front door and pushes her legs against her stomach, wrapping her arms around them. She bites her lip, contemplating the suggestion before shaking her head in a negative response.

"Please Manny." Darcy grins energetically, knowing that if she keeps trying she'll break down the girl who is huddled next to her.

"Uh, no."

"Come on! You have to live life. You can't spend it bottled up in this room, I won't let you."

"Darcy, I'm not going anywhere."

The auburn-haired girl raises an eyebrow while simultaneously rolling her eyes. She's not giving up that easily. "Okay, fine, but you don't think I'm just going to let you sit here like that, do you? Get up."

"What?" Manny runs her fingers through her hair, chuckling nervously at Darcy.

"Get up. We're going to cheer." Darcy jumps happily off the couch, a victorious smirk covering her face, eyes sparkling with joy.

"Please get out of my house." The dark-haired girl points her finger towards the door exhaustedly. She really is planning on killing Emma at this point.

"Ready? Okay!" Clapping her hands together, Darcy giggles, "Manny get off you couch! Stop being such a slouch! Everybody misses you; I'll go on for an hour or two! If I have to, woo!" She screams at the end, jumping up and down.

Getting quickly off the couch, Manny glares at Darcy, "Fine, I'll get ready."

"Good."

"Oh, and I hate you."

Darcy rolls her eyes and sits back down on the couch, pleased with her performance. Manny gave in sooner than she had expected.

---

"Look! Grumpy's smiling!" Marco smirks happily at Ellie, hugging her while she hits him with a French fry.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." Ellie slurps her water before hugging her best friend back. Sure, she fought everyone's attempts to get her to leave the house, but she's glad she did get off the couch. The red-haired girl likes feeling happy of course, and she missed the cheesy fries.

Sean squints at the two, shaking his head. "Why does he get all the credit?"

"Because he's the one who told you to talk to me." Ellie smirks at the boy, rolling her eyes like it is completely obvious.

The door to The Dot opens and Darcy and Emma march in determinedly, each girl pulling one of Manny's arms. They're laughing under their breaths while the dark-haired girl shakes her head, trying to act annoyed, but the small smile on her lips betrays her feigned frustration.

Turning her head, Manny spots Ellie looking their way and the grin leaves her mouth instantly. Her friends stop pulling her and after a moment of shock, Emma glares at Sean and Marco.

"I, I should go." The brunette takes a deep breath and tries to stumble out of The Dot. Ellie jumps up out of her chair. She halts Manny at the door, so the brunette grumbles quietly, "Ellie, please." Her voice is fragile and weak as she begs to get away.

"Can we please just talk? Ellie releases her light grip on the younger girl, her voice equally as whispered and sad.

Manny spins around slowly, looking at the ground before staring straight past the redhead, "No, I don't really-"

"Please?"

The desperation in the older girl's voice breaks the dark-haired girl's heart a little, so she nods and follows Ellie's feet to a secluded table in the corner.

Breathing out deeply, Ellie pushes a lock of red hair behind her ear before looking at Manny for a long time. After making the brunette girl squirm for a while under her gaze, Ellie whispers, "I'm sorry. And I know I've said that a lot and it probably doesn't change anything, but it's true. I didn't want to hurt you, I was just being honest."

"I know." Manny chokes out, looking up and smiling a little. "I miss you."

Surprised at the gentleness in the younger girls' voice, Ellie looked away; her heart beating rapidly in her chest. "I miss you too."

"And I'd really like it if we could be friends."

"Okay."

Manny reaches a hand across the small table, palm open for Ellie. And they both stop breathing for a moment when Ellie places her hand on top of Manny's.


	5. Chapter 5

**Moving Forward**

**Chapter 5**

Snuggling into her boyfriend's side, Ellie rests her head lightly on his shoulder and sighs contently. She feels good again, happy.

"So, tell me about this Manny who had you so depressed last week." Jesse closes his eyes, breathing in the redhead's perfume, a smile gracing his lips.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just curious."

Ellie sits up a little. "Well, it's a really, really long story." She shakes her head, red locks gently brushing against his chin.

"We have time." Jesse sighs; he's getting tired of this. It seems that the red-haired girl is always avoiding conversations that relate to her friends. He knows that his friends don't like her (he cannot fathom the reasoning behind this), but it does not mean that he won't want to know hers.

Placing a quick kiss on his mouth, Ellie moves away, just barely out of the older boy's reach. She thinks about Manny enough during the day, sometimes she just wants to forget about the dark-haired girl. She hates that she can't. Being prompted and prodded about her relationship with Manny by her boyfriend, who she's suppose to love, is nowhere near the redhead's idea of fun conversation.

"It would ruin the mood." She states firmly, locking eyes with her boyfriend, crawling closer, tracing a trail down his jaw with her fingertips.

He groans at the contact and pulls Ellie closer, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

He kisses her, deeply this time. And she lets him, because she knows it's the only way to distract him from his probing questions. Ellie kisses back, because if she doesn't he'll notice and ask her what's wrong. More unwanted questions. Being happy and being utterly confused seem to go hand and hand these days, Ellie does not like it.

It seems like the only thoughts flooding her mind are thoughts of headaches suddenly fleeing away, happy, excited butterflies in the pit of her stomach, seeing the younger girl smile and hearing her laugh, knowing the joy Manny is exuding is because of her.

Ellie has learned to despise these thoughts.

Because at this very moment, with Jesse's hand pressing gently against her back, pushing her closer to him, she should not be able to think. Her mind shouldn't be somewhere else. The red-haired girl should be thinking about her boyfriend, not what movie she should go see with Manny tomorrow.

She gasps a little for breath, leaning her head against Jesse's shoulder. "I love you," the boy mumbles, his hand rubbing circles into her back. She can hear the smile in his voice and it makes her sick. She makes herself sick.

"I love you, too." She whispers, choking down the vomit in her throat.

"Hey, do you think I could meet Manny?"

"What?" Ellie lifts her head and runs a hand through her hair, pulling softly at a knot that has formed with the day.

"Yeah, then you wouldn't have to explain the whole long story and I can just get to know her."

The redhead bites her lower lips, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, "Sure."

"Great." He smiles widely, and she forces a grin. She's beginning to hate herself.

---

"I hate English! What's so important about punctuation anyway, people should just know when to pause. It's like breathing or something." The brunette hits her head on the table, making a soft thud noise and sighs exasperatedly. "I give up."

A smirk spreads onto the older girl's lips and she tries to stifle a giggle, but it escapes anyway and she glances briefly at the ground.

"Hey, how about you just write if for me?" Manny lifts her head off the table and smiles hopefully.

"No." Ellie shakes her head, "You can do it."

The younger girl sighs, shoving the paper towards Ellie, "I hate tests."

"I know."

Manny studies the paper and tries to combine the sentences glaring up at her. "How's that?"

The red-haired girl examines the new sentence, frowning, "Not quite."

Running a hand through her hair, Manny pushes the paper away, slowly smiling at Ellie. "So, what's new?"

"You're not going to distract me for long." The redhead smirks, biting her lip and staring just past Manny's head before speaking again, "Do you want to have dinner with Jesse and me?"

"Huh?"

Ellie sighs, "He wants to meet you."

"Oh," The dark-haired girl begins to fiddle with her fingers, tugging on them softly. She doesn't know what to make of the situation. Finally, she locks eyes with the older girl, and agrees.

"Good." Ellie nods her head, letting out a long breath, "Now, your English test."

---

Cautiously, Manny raises her hand to knock on the wooden door, dropping it at the last moment and checking the sheet of paper with the room number one more time. Taking a deep breath, she softly hit the wood three times before pulling lightly on her fingers.

A minute later the door swings open and Ellie smirks nervously at the younger girl. "Hey."

"Hi." Manny replies, her stomach churning, mind racing.

The redhead moves aside and motions for the dark-haired girl to enter. "Come in. Um, Jesse's just getting some dip. You like guacamole right?"

"Yes." Smiling at the older girl's recollection of her favorite dip, Manny steps into the apartment. Looking around, she notices a picture of Jesse and Ellie. The brunette steps closer to it, studying the look in her friend's eyes. She looks happy, but it isn't the way she used to look with Craig, or even Sean. And that seems to release a little of the tension in Manny's shoulders.

Ellie shakes her head a little, "You know, I can't even remember when that was taken." She pauses momentarily, "Come on, Jesse's excited to meet you." The red-haired girl rolls her eyes a tiny bit at her own statement.

The brunette follows Ellie into the living room and smiles a little when she sees Jesse.

"Manny, this is Jesse. Jesse, Manny." The redhead gestures to the two as she introduces them and watches them shake hands when they greet each other.

An awkward silence envelops the small group and Ellie looks around anxiously, she knew this was a bad idea.

"How about we sit down?" Jesse motions to the opposite facing couches, taking a seat for himself as Ellie and Manny sit across from him.

"Um, Jesse, Manny was one of the people I interviewed for that article, you remember, about the, uh, seniors." The older girl gestures an absurd amount with her hands as she speaks. It dawns on her that she's nervous for Manny as well as herself. The redhead wants Jesse to like the brunette, to approve.

"Oh, right. Did you quote her?"

"I don't know, Manny, did I quote you?" Ellie smirks when she turns to the dark-haired girl situated next to her, remembering Manny's excited reaction as she read the article.

Manny turns to the redhead, a grin plastering itself to her face. "You did. And I'm still excited about that."

"It really isn't a big deal." The red-haired girl shrugs nonchalantly, a sparkle evident in her brown eyes.

"Yes it is! I was quoted in a newspaper."

"A college newspaper," Ellie interjects.

"It's a big deal to me Ellie, okay?" Manny begins to feel more at ease when the older girl just rolls her eyes again, a smile gracing her lips. The brunette can feel that Ellie's holding in a laugh.

Jesse watches the exchange uneasily. He is not sure what to make of the quick banter, but amusement plays in his eyes. "It was a great article."

"I agree." Manny nods, glancing quickly at the brown-haired boy before focusing on the soft pink rising in the redhead's cheeks. "Ellie hasn't shown me any of her other articles though."

"Really?" He questions, standing up. "I save all the papers, I'll go get them."

When the boy leaves the room, Ellie elbows the younger girl lightly. "I think he keeps them because as editor he is a little cocky."

"Or maybe he's just proud of his work." Manny laughs a little, running a hand through her hair. This night will be better than she expected, she can feel it already.

"Yeah, okay."

---

"Bye Manny. I'll call you later." Ellie hugs the younger girl tightly, letting the aroma of Manny's shampoo surround her.

"Okay, sounds good. Bye guys." Manny smiles before turning and leaving, pulling her purse over her shoulder.

Softly shutting the door, Jesse grins. "Well, I'd say that was a success."

"Yes; so what do you think?"

"She was nice."

"Nice?"

"Yeah." Jesse sighs, seeing Ellie's questioning look, "I liked her okay? Are you happy with that?"

"Yes. Thank you for being so nice." She emphasizes the last word, a smirk playing on her lips.

"I'm always nice." The older boy smirks back and kisses Ellie quickly. "I'm going to start the dishes. I'll be done soon."

"I can help."

"No, no, I'll do it." He kisses her once more before turning to get started.

Ellie smiles after him, tilting her head a little. She sighs contently. The meeting seems to have gone well and she enjoyed herself, a lot. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt more like she was introducing Manny to an older brother, or a friend. Ellie felt like the brunette had been meeting her family.

The vomit rises up in her throat again and she swallows it down, grimacing.

---

Emma sips her soda, listening intently to her best friend's retelling of the previous night. She nods along, smiling and laughing at the appropriate times, but as the story progresses, the blonde becomes more observant of Manny's expression. She notices the way the dark-haired girl smiles when she mentions Ellie, how Manny's eyes seem brighter, shinier today. Emma can't help but entertain crazy ideas when she notices these things.

"So, I had fun." The brunette concludes, popping another fry into her mouth. "Uh, no, we're out. I'll go buy some more." She pushes herself off of her chair, using the table as leverage, and walks to the counter.

When Emma is sure her best friend is out of earshot, she turns to the boy sitting beside her. "Sean, did you notice anything unusual about Manny while she was telling us about her great adventure?"

Sean raises an eyebrow at his girlfriend, "No, not really."

"Nothing?" Emma probes, resting her elbow on the table and her chin in her palm.

"I don't know. Did you notice anything?"

The blonde bites her lip and looks at Manny, who is still waiting at the counter having a conversation with Spinner. "It was probably just my imagination, never mind."

"Tell me."

"Just forget it." She shakes her hand in a dismissive manner as she sits back up in the booth.

"Come on Em, you brought it up." The older boy squeezes her side gently and looks curiously at her.

"I, um, I think Manny likes Ellie."

Looking at his girlfriend like she may have lost her mind, Sean responds as neutrally as possible, "Did you miss the two of them becoming friends or something?"

"No, I mean _like_ like."

Sean doesn't answer; he just glances at the brunette who is obviously flirting with Spinner.

"See, it was idiotic, of course she doesn't"

"I don't know." The older boy shrugs, unsure.

---

Staring intently at her textbook, Ellie sighs. She doesn't seem to be retaining any of the information and she has been attempting to study for a couple of hours now. The redhead flips the page, highlighting yet another section of text.

The doorbell rings in her ears and she moans in frustration. Lifting herself off the couch, Ellie shuffles to the door, opening it with ease.

"Peace." Ashley smiles nervously, holding up a cup of coffee for the red-haired girl.

Ellie eyes the girl for a moment before accepting the coffee and moving aside, allowing Ashley entrance into the house.

"So…" The brunette looks around anxiously, her eyes never settling on Ellie. She removes her jacket carefully, hanging it on a nearby coat rack.

"Hi." The redhead takes a sip of the hot beverage, relishing the path it burns down her throat.

Ashley finally looks at Ellie, waiting to speak until her friend locks eyes with her own. "I'm sorry I freaked out. Manny's not exactly my favorite person in the first place, and I love you." She brushes some brown hair out of her face, taking a deep breath. "I just hated that you were hurting and I just blamed her and well, you know."

Nodding in understanding, the redhead takes one more gulp of her coffee before smiling. She begins to lead Ashley into the kitchen. "Come on."

Both girls sit on a stool, hands pressed lightly to their paper cups, feeling the warmth on their skin.

"I understand." Ellie speaks, a grin tugging at her lips. "I'm sorry I got so worked up when I knew in some way you were just trying to protect me."

"Good." The brunette smiles back, letting out a relieved sigh.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while, sipping their coffees and thinking about the situation. Both girls happy and relieved to have stopped fighting with one another.

"So, I hear that Manny and you made up?" Ashley breathes; the question has been on the tip of her tongue for a couple of minutes while her mind debated with itself.

Ellie's eyes seem to sparkle instantly at the subject, "Yeah, she met Jesse last night."

"Okay." The brunette tilts her head, studying the red-haired girl's smile and the way she seems to frown a little at the mention of her boyfriend. "Is everything okay with you and Jesse?"

Sighing a little and tapping her nails lightly against her cup, Ellie feels vomit churn in the pit of her stomach. "I don't know."

"Oh."

"I mean I still like him, but I feel comfortable."

Ashley squints oddly at the redhead and inquires, confused, "Isn't that a good thing?"

"How do you feel with Jimmy?" Ellie watches intensely at her friend's grin.

"Safe, but excited too. I still get butterflies."

The red-haired girl frowns, bowing her head, examining the counter.

"Ellie, what is it?"

"I feel comfortable, like I do with you, like friendly comfortable."

"Oh." Ashley nods in understanding, moving around the kitchen to hug her friend in solace.

---

"How did you do?"

Manny holds up the test in her right hand, grinning excitedly. "I got a B!" She's practically jumping up and down, the paper crinkling slightly due to her tight grip on it.

"That's amazing." Ellie laughs, squeezing the brunette's wrist in congratulations.

"Yep, and it's all thanks to you."

The older girl shakes her head, biting back more giggles at the joy occupying Manny's features. "You did this." She snatches the paper, absently running a finger over the large red letter.

Manny nods resolutely, "Yes, I guess I did."

"We should celebrate." Ellie smiles, handing back the paper, her hand brushing the dark-haired girl's lightly, causing her to pull back, quickly placing it in her jean pocket.

"What should we do?"

"Whatever you want."

"Hm," the younger girl taps a finger against her chin, a smirk slowly spreading across her face. "We should go bowling."

"We need more people though." Ellie bites her lip, thinking, "Because bowling with two people isn't as fun."

"Right." Manny nods, "Who should we invite?"

"You got the B, you invite people."

"Okay, Emma, Sean and Marco."

"Sounds great." Ellie smiles again, getting up and yelling once she reaches the stairs. "Manny got a B; we're going bowling!"

A moment later, Marco's faint voice floats down the stairs, "One minute!"

---

The black ball rolls heavily down the aisle, crashing loudly against the pins. In a collage of dark and light seven of the pins go down, quickly being swept off the lane.

Manny ambles back to her friends, pouting, "I can't get a spare."

"Looks like the boys win." Marco and Sean cheer, high-fiving each other.

"Just take your second ball." Ellie reaches out, lightly pushing the younger girl forward, glaring at her competitors across the table.

As the dark-haired girl carefully places her fingers in hole of the 10 pound bowling ball, cheering from Ellie and Emma reaches her ears. Swinging her arm back, she allows the ball to gain momentum as she releases it.

Watching the black sphere tumble down the lane, it veers slightly to the left, knocking down two of the remaining pins.

Immediately, she skips back to the table, giggling proudly to herself as she accepts high fives of her own from Ellie and Emma.

"You still lost." Marco waves a finger at the three smiling girls, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips, "Ouch, Ellie!"

"What?" the redhead asks innocently.

"You kicked me!"

She shrugs in response before standing up and lacing her arm with the brunette's. "Come on Manny; let's go buy the losers some fries."

"Let's, come on Em." She motions for her best friend to get up.

"Emma can I have a fry?" Sean looks at his girlfriend, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Sure."

"Uh, no." Manny raises an eyebrow at the blonde.

"What?"

"He taunted me."

Sean stands up, glaring at Marco. "That was Marco."

"Pick a side, bestie." Manny gestures towards the boys and then Ellie and herself.

Emma wraps her arm around Manny's and frowns at Sean. "Sorry, I want fries."

"Good choice." The dark-haired girl smiles and begins the trek to the concession stand with the redhead and blonde both by her side.

---

Pulling the covers up to her chin, Manny rolls over, closing her eyes, trying to breathe steadily. After a couple of minutes, she opens her aching eyelids and glances at her clock: 1:33. Sighing tiredly, the brunette turns back over.

She lets her mind drift and it quickly ends up on the redhead. Manny attempts to think about something else, anything. A couple of moments later, her mind is back on Ellie.

The dark-haired girl hates how she cannot seem to stop herself from focusing on the older girl. The way her hair frames her face, falling on Ellie's shoulders perfectly.

Manny groans frustrated, trying to convince herself that this is normal.

But she can't. And that scares her.


End file.
